|me:||what would you do if you were a lesbian|
|Kenny:||die bc i would miss my penis|
|me:||ew ugh penises are GROSS|
|me:||vaginas are better|
|me:||they dont HANG off your body|
|me:||well most of ours at least|
|me:||cant say the same about ol' beef curtains lauren conrad|
|me:||heard hers DaNgLe|
|me:||from a reliable source - the internet|
<3 fred mertz
I’m drunk right now, so I’ll lay some heavy duty personal truth on you, as painful as it is for me. And this is just my own sad little view of the way things are here, so take it with a fistful of salt, anecdotal evidence amounting to nothing and all that.
I’ve been working a shit job for the last 4 months. I was lucky to get it because I have friends that are selling their bodies to afford food for their kids, whereas I get $12/hour for 20 hours a week (my boss says they’re always room for advancement, but they just let a ton of people go because our stock didn’t meet forecasts). I fill out about 20 applications a week (LastPass FTW!) but for now I basically help rich people hide their money by processing certain claims for a financial services giant. Previously, my job was in Mumbai, but they moved it back recently do to “labor problems”. During that time I’ve paid about $500 for health insurance that doesn’t cover hardly anything, but because I have a pre-existing condition no other health insurance company will touch me. I even had to go off the medication that was keeping me sane because it was too expensive, so now I just try really hard not to scream most nights and my days are riddled with near crippling anxiety (which is why I drink). I can’t get access to any type of welfare because I make $13,000/year, which, in my state, is apparently too much. Doesn’t matter that I had to move back in with my parents (I’m 27). Doesn’t matter that I drive a shitty 30 year old car because there aren’t any mass transit within 10 miles of where I work. Doesn’t matter that my student loans are killing me (and before the engineers and CS majors jump down my throat telling me I shouldn’t have majored in underwater basket weaving, I have a goddamn MBA, but nobody gives a shit because I don’t have the 5 years experience required for an entry level position).
Each and every day, I feel more and more fucked. My best friend buried his kid in November because he couldn’t afford the treatments to get his white blood cell count down low enough to allow for a transplant, even though he had several good matches in his short life (but Dick Cheney gets a new fucking heart). Other of my friends are fucking their way out of massive student loans on SugarDaddies.com. So, you know why I don’t care?
I plan on leaving. I don’t want any of this. I don’t want to live in a place where “anyone can make it rich!” means “X” many people have to fucking die, go into massive debt, or sell their souls just to get by. The american dream has become a nightmare. I don’t want to live in a place where the elderly, those who we are supposed to venerate, out-source their critical thinking skills to Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck, and every time I ask them why socialized medicine is okay for them but not for me I’m called a fascists communist, whatever the fuck that means.
I plan on leaving soon. I saved up enough for a passport and I’m plotting my defection, because I broke the two cardinal rules of new america: Don’t be poor and don’t get sick.
And worst of all there is no fixing any of this. We have a two party system because our electoral system is winner takes all/first past the post/Single Member District, and the two far right parties are cutting up whats left. The average Senate seat now costs $9,000,000 and the average voter has an 8th grade reading level. That’s not a co-incidence.
God, I went and made myself depressed again. Nothings going to change here, and I can honestly say that I’ve tried: I’ve voted, written my representatives, tried to educate people, all in order to get mocked as a dirty socialist. The best I can hope for is a better life somewhere else. Let those who want to “Go Galt,” come here in fucking droves. Mark my words, this will all end in tears.
Well, that’s my opinion anyway. You asked.
(found on reddit)